My MisAddressed Page
by amourlemonde
Summary: J.D. desperately needs to get "laid" so he turns to an old standby: Elliot. Or so he thinks. Now contains some angst, there's still some humor thrown in there though :D
1. Our First Encounter

**Summary: J.D. desperately needs to get "laid" so he turns to an old standby: Elliot. Or so he thinks. Slightly a/u I guess?**

**Season: takes places in a very vague, general, season. a season where Dr. Cox & Jordan don't have a baby yet, Keith never met Elliot, Elliot has short hair, Lonnie is around for some reason, just because he's hilarious and has three kids "that he knows of" :) Mickhead killed his first two****wives, just because. Enid doesn't hate Kelso..yet I guess, or at least they still have sex, ugh. J.D. and Elliot are still Dr Cox's students, but they are very independent, so ya know what? I guess they're residents or first-year attending…I kinda like the second one better.**  


**Ramblings: all in all, this story isn't too confusing, as long as you focus on the plot, focus on the plot, focus on the plot, focus. on. the. plot. Yes, I'm repeating myself to make sure. :D just don't make fun of me if some things don't add up, keep an open mind, and keep in that mind the fact that I'm also very, very aware of all the tiny scrubs timeline errors :) also many of the things in this chapter probably won't even come up again. And some of the little changes I made don't even really affect much anyway.**

**Warnings: err, it's a secret, but it involves sex between two people  
**

**-I know my a/n are rambling :)-for that and anything else that might come up. Sorry in advance**

**R.W.33**

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I feel so completely and utterly isolated from the staff at Sacred Heart. Everywhere I look, people are all gettin' some. Turk, Carla, the Todd, Lonnie, Kelso, Mickhead and his _third_ wife; hell, even Dr. Cox was getting laid. He and Jordan were attempting to have a baby, much to his obvious reluctance in the matter. Not that he had much of a choice anyway. Jordan was practically sperm-jacking him. "Ugh" I winced at that image. "Bad thoughts, bad thoughts" I struggled to get back to the problem at hand. - I say struggled because I actually walked around wincing for a good ten minutes while earning sympathetic looks from strangers. After I was finished, I had sacrificed ten valuable minutes, but had earned a chocolate-chip chunk cookie from a pitying mother. - "Sympathy's fun" I thought happily, munching on my cookie, finally back at the nurse's station. Anyway, the only other person I knew that was also going through a dry-spell right now was Elliot. Neither of us had ever had much luck in the love/dating/sex department, so I wasn't very surprised. All of a sudden, a thought dawned on me. I could solve our shared problem at the same time. I immediately paged Elliot to the on-call room and turned off all the lights.

The door opened a little while later and, being spontaneous, I grabbed her by the base of her neck and kissed her hard on the mouth. Running my tongue against her lips, asking for permission. She tensed for a moment, pushing at me slightly, before she gave in and began kissing me back desperately, moaning. I pinned her up against the door, breathlessly "That's funny, Elliot's a lot taller than I remember" I swung her around and switched our positions. She grabbed my hair tightly; pulling it possessively "And she has a rougher grip" I led us over to the bed, pushing her down, and landing on top of her. I held her to the bed with my arms on either side and kissed her even more fiercely. Groaning into her mouth, I began kissing painfully slowly down her neck. Nibbling and sucking on her tendon; marking her as my property. I bit down hard when I reached her collarbone to get a reaction. She bucked underneath me wildly, whimpering. "Oooh _god_," she moaned huskily "that feels so good. Lower, go lower, Newbie" she begged me, her voice cracking sexily. Wait-what??_ "No..no."_ I pulled back hastily, straining to see in the darkness. _"It couldn't be, I must've imagined it"_

I kept going, however, convinced I was only daydreaming about Dr. Cox again. I felt her draw one single finger of mine into her warm mouth, and suck gently, before pulling it back out, grazing her teeth over it. I ground against the body underneath me, earning a moan. "Harder, newbie, harder, oh god, yesss, _much_ harder" she gasped urgently. I obliged, ignoring my imagination the best I could. Which, I had to admit; I wasn't doing a very good job at. I even surprised myself at how much I didn't care, how it only made me more aroused. Shocked at how much I longed for it to actually be Dr. Cox I was thrusting against instead of Elliot. But the sad truth was: Dr. Cox was unquestionably and undoubtedly straight. And, everyone assumed that I was at least a little bit straight with my long, painful, track record with Elliot. But no matter how much I loved Elliot, I wasn't _in _love with her. Not really...I only had eyes for the man that I couldn't have. That I would never have.

I let out a low growl and took out my frustration on Elliot. Thrusting deeper, brushing up against something hard_-"her pager?"-_before tilting her head up and delving my tongue into her mouth, a mouth that tasted bitter, a taste I couldn't quite place right then. She reached down slowly and rubbed my erection through my pants, tracing the outline of it. Stroking it softly, almost lovingly, she slid down my scrub-bottoms past my knees and slipped her strangely calloused hand inside my boxers; wrapping her hand around my straining, pulsing, cock, giving it two short, hard, tugs. I yelped in surprise. She rolled me over onto my back, kissing my stomach, sliding downward, trailing her kisses lower, until she reached my-my, **oh shit. **Wrapping her mouth around my dripping cock, she bobbed her head in a rhythmic pattern. Using her hands to squeeze the base periodically. Oh god, I'm so close, so goddamned close. It's been way too long, I began thrusting frantically up into her throat, moaning. Way,_ way_ too long "F-f-_uuuckkk _" I whimpered pathetically, losing my control completely. I clutched her short hair roughly with both of my hands, forcing her head down. She complied for a little while, sucking hard and fast. But she eventually breaks free, stronger than I am in my weakened state, making me whine. She crawls back up towards my chest, and I pull her into a kiss and bite down on her bottom lip, drawing blood.

She still has one hand wrapped loosely around me, stroking distractedly, enjoying the kiss. She glides a single finger around the head, playing with it. She dips a single finger inside, experimentally, making me almost black out. She notices my reaction and does it again, teasingly. I hold on as long as I can before I lose it entirely. I feel my cock tighten and I come with a shuddering cry, spurting out into her warm hand. I grab her ass, forcing the lower half of her body to press up against mine as I jerked wildly. I let out short, harsh gasps, I lay there with her for a moment, stroking her, short, short hair. After I recovered somewhat, I switched us back to our original positions, rolling on top of her before bending down to kiss her deeply, full on the mouth, softly, "thanks for that, Elliot, I really needed to get my mind off of someone" I breathed when I pulled back, accidentally brushing against slight stubble for the first time, "oh no, oh, no, oh no no, no, no, no, please god **_no_**. Why?!"

"Uhh, Julie, I hate to break it to you, but.."

"Bambi? Are you in here?" Carla called out in the hallway.

She was going to come in, shit. She was going come in. Going to come in and see me. Me with his hand still wrapped around my aching, leaking, cock. My mind struggled to put this together, still partially shaken from-from..oh god. The handle turned and the door creaked open.

_"Oh god Carla, no, no, no, please don't turn on the-" _

The room filled with a blinding white light and confirmed my suspicions. I had managed to pin a weary, grinning, and an all-together, over-worked, Dr. Cox to a bed.

_"Well, that at least explains why he didn't fight back"_ I thought mortified.

"It's good to finally see the face behind the actions" Dr. Cox murmured sarcastically

"Bambi?"

It was at that moment I realized my lips were still inches from Dr. Cox's. Oh hell, he might kill me, but I'm already in this deep, he gave me a-a...a whatever, for Christ sakes, so I don't think I could get in much more trouble, besides when will I ever get to do this again? –

I cut off my own ramblings and leaned in quickly, pulling Dr. Cox into a warm, loving kiss. Playing with his curls, and stroking his face. God, even if he hits me, I won't care. "Thank you." I whisper softly against his lips, pulling back slowly. He stares back at me, wide eyed, and speechless. I plant another gentle kiss on his cheek. "Really"  
Leaping up, before he chooses to strangle me, I glanced around the room, blushing deeply when I spot Carla just staring at me, I covered up my wet crotch before darting out of the room feeling them watch me as I go.

* * *

A swollen-mouthed Dr. Cox just gazed up at Carla silently and shrugged wordlessly. He let his head fall backwards, breathing out a shuddering sigh and rubbing his face. He remained quiet for a long time and the silence stretched out into nothing. He chose his next words carefully, cautiously.

"I never.._expected _..him to-to..do something like...that...after he realized..I mean"

He fell back into the comforting silence, relishing in it. After another long pause, he stared into her eyes looking lost, before he continued, breaking eye-contact and slipping back into him usual, emotionless, ranting demeanor; answering her unasked question.

"I took Barbie's pager because I got tired of her, paging _ME_ every ten minutes to ask my opinion "_as a guy _" about which shoe looked better with her new, low-cut bright red dress when she goes out with latest boy-toy tonight. She didn't take the hint when I actually tried gnawing my arm off when she grabbed it to stop me from walking away" he supplied flawlessly.

"How far'd ja get?" Carla asked bemused

"''Bout halfway" Perry deadpanned looking up at her, desperately, the vulnerable side of him beginning to show.

"Anyway my shift was juh-hust about over and I was about to go home to my harpy of an "ex-wife", who, may I remind you, is jumping me mercilessly, _every single time I get home,_ in the hopes of acquiring herself an innocent child to corrupt."

Carla shuddered "Woah, so didn't need to picture _that _"

Perry glared at her "I not only get to "picture" it, I've afraid I've got front row seats and a season-pass, that I _can-not_ cancel, to the beginning of a whole, brand new nightmare"

They both imagined what hell would take place with a pregnant Jordan around.

Grimacing, Carla patted his arm sympathetically. "I am so sorry" she said sincerely "continue"

Dr. Cox rolled his eyes

"Then, I got a page from Rosanna requesting a certain **"Dr. Reid's**"presence to an on-call room. So, I thought I'd save him the trouble of finding out that his pale, whiny_, reason for me to commit suicide_, already had a standing reservation with her pimp tonight, by filling in for Barbie and sparing him the heartbreak" he smiled broadly

"_Real reason Perry_"

He scowled at her "Okay, I thought I'd come by to rub it in his face"

"And what happened with that?"

"SO not telling, Carla" he replied incredulous.

"Dr. Cox, I can assume what else happened. I saw Bambi _kiss you_ and cover up the front of his scrubs as he ran for his life" she snickered.

"Well, you'll just have to get by on those assumptions, cause you're not getting anything out of me, not now, not _ever_ ."

He started out the door.

"Hey, is that a **hickey** on your neck!?" she called out mockingly, biting back her laughter.

Perry growled and left to find Newbie. They had unfinished business and he couldn't hide forever. Even though Perry wished that _he _could.

* * *

**Short a/n: my first time writing a sex scene, hmm, good or bad? Review please? :)**

**Long a/n: (on a side note I've decided that I will do "short a/n" too so that you don't have to suffer through these long ones anymore if you don't want to.) Sooo, what'd ja think? Did you like my attempts at a plot twist? if you read it again, the whole sex scene is dr. cox which I think is so much better. but that whole "thinking its elliot when its really dr. cox" will never happen again. don't worry. It was my first time writing sex ;) (A sex scene which, might I add, works for both canon and slashers because its elliot/jd and cox/jd at the same time) I wanted to warn everyone in the beginning, but if I did, you'd all probably think less of it, like I didn't know what I was talking about...well that's what I would've thought. If it's horrible I understand, I'm just glad to get it out if the way :) anyway, I hope it wasn't too confusing, I kinda felt weird while writing this -blushes- okay.. Uh, I forget what I was gonna say, oh right, review please :D**

**oh, also, in case you were wondering, it was NOT "her" pager. and "she" tasted kind of like scotch to J.D., dunno why. But she did. And looking back this, it kind of reminds me of little red riding hood, the wolf (Dr. Cox) pretending to be the grandma (Elliot). Maybe that's what I was subconsciously going for :)**


	2. Our Imminent Conversation

**A/n: I know. I'm sorry about all the slow updates. I'm such a tease of a writer :( I have 3 stories in progress right now though. I need to focus all my energy on just one story, finish that one, and then work on the rest. I'm going to put a poll in my profile of which one I should.."devote" all of my time to. Anyway, enjoy chapter 2 of my misaddressed page, I probably won't update this for a while, :( unless it wins the poll of course, I hope it does, I'm kinda fond of this story :)  
warnings: not a happy chappie, like at all :( ahh, I can't stop writing angsty, dramatic stuff. it depresses me, it really does.  
fun fact: my birthday's today!  
(14th) :D hee. Reviews are the best presents I could ever get -hint hint- :) its cool if you just read it though, either way I'm a happy camper -giggles- I love that phrase. I challenge you to work that into a conversation today :D  
Disclaimer- So not mine.**

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**My Mis-Addressed Page**

**Chapter 2: Our Imminent Conversation**

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J.D.'s POV

After I made my brilliant escape, I raced around the hospital, testing out possible hiding spots. I was currently ducking under and around the nurse's station. Changing my position every so often to avoid Dr. Cox, _ninja-style_. And doing a good job of it too. I was untouchable.

I flung myself around the corner, making sure I don't stay in one spot for too long, and...fell flat on my face.

I hear a muffled snicker and I raise my head. My eyes flick back and forth uneasily, scanning the halls, before I relax. "Coast's clear" I mentally congratulate myself, falling back into a crouch. I can just keep this up until my shift ends. Then I can go home, barricade myself in the apartment, and never come back out. Turk and Carla wouldn't mind taking care of me by sliding money and food through the mail slot. At least until I found a new job ... Okay, well, maybe they'd mind a little bit, what with them being newlyweds and everything. But I can't come back to work; not after this, not after what happened. I'll just have to hand in my resignation tomorrow. That or hire a professional to take care of Dr. Cox. And I'm not sure if I have enough money for the latter...maybe I could find a professional who does charity work though, because I _really_ do like my job.

* * *

******Dr. Cox's POV**

I was watching from a distance, going unnoticed by J.D. who was rolling around on the floor, and doing a terrible job of avoiding me. If anything, he was only making himself more visible. When his face met the ground, I laughed dryly to myself. I'm not really sure what he's trying to accomplish. I'm going to see him again, eventually. "This is going to be fun," I thought sarcastically with a sigh. I stepped out of the shadows "Dakota, you can stop "**hiding**" now" I said briskly, making air-quotes.

He whipped his head around, widened his eyes at me, and dove behind the nurse's station. I crossed my arms and waited. He poked his head out to glance at me nervously, before ducking back down. After he repeated the process about 6 more times, I finally reached my breaking point. "I'm **nawt** going to hurt you" I barked impatiently "Now, get. Out. Here." He stayed where he was, stubbornly.

"Oh-ho-ho, Ruby. Not a smart move"  
I made as if I was going to come after him and heard a thump and a moan.  
"Oh my poor, poor, newbie, _when will we learn_? " I sneered, tauntingly

_"You're going to miss doing that"_ I noted mournfully.

**"Shut up, Perry. You sound like a girl, you damn hypocrite. You don't know for sure how this will end"**

_"yeah? Well I can guess. It's sure to end that way no matter what, whether its me who says it first or him. we BOTH know that"_

**"…..."**

"What do you want Dr. Cox" he murmured quietly

"I. Want. To talk to you"

"About what" He rose up tentatively, rubbing his head

"Uhh, let's see. What do you think, Charlotte? About what happened"

His eyes actually managed to increase in size. Well what did he expect I was going to say? Something **nice**?

I scowled at him "Follow me"

I sauntered ahead and heard him trip and fall behind me. I reh-heally didn't have time for this; I pinched the bridge of my nose before reluctantly spinning around.

"For the love. Of. God! Newbie, can't you take 5 little steps without tripping over your own two feet? I know, I _know_, it must be hard because you went out dancing with your crush last night and you might've juh-hust _lost track of the time_ and kept **right. on. dancing**. But I beg you, puh-lease. Try to ignore the burn in your legs and come with me.._mkay _?" I ranted half-heartedly, my mind on other things.

I'm so not looking forward to this conversation. I led us into a nearby on-call room and shut the door.

"I remember the last time I was in one of these" He said looking around awkwardly, attempting at some sort of humor.

"Newbie" I growled, trying to maintain some form of normality

"Yes?" He trilled back at me, rocking on his heels.

I winced, rubbing my ear "Kindly shut up"

"Yessir" He replied dejectedly, and stopped his rocking.

"Good" I eyed him suspiciously

We both just stared at each other, waiting. He ran a hand through his hair, and crossed his arms, shifting his weight restlessly. I really didn't want to do this, I could already foresee the outcome, and lemme tell ya, it was **not** good.

"So.." I started, obviously stalling for time " How, uh, how's it going Farrah?"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Are you this cold to all of your one night stands?" I asked him in mock-horror.

He turned bright red and looked away.

I felt a little bit guilty. Definitely only a little bit.

* * *

**General POV**

"Look, Dr. Cox-"

"I think we're way past Dr. Cox, Sheila" Perry interrupted, grinning obnoxiously.

J.D. glared at him "You've got to be kidding me"

Dr. Cox crossed his arms expectantly, shaking his head "**no**".

"Okaaaay.. "Perry"? -" He looked over for approval

Dr. Cox growled in response, but motioned with his arms to continue.

-Okay, look.."Perry"...if you're just going to make fun of me, I'm leaving" J.D. forced out, his voice strained in exasperation. He walked over to the door slowly, his shoulders tense and his footsteps heavy with disdain

Perry saw his opportunity closing, and finally decided to be serious.  
"It was a mistake" he blurted hurriedly; then flushed, looking down.

J.D. paused but still didn't turn around.  
Eventually the silence became suffocating and Perry felt like he was choking on it

"What.. did you just say." J.D. replied stiffly, his voice thick with venom

"..I didn't mean for it to happen. We were both tired, and..it- it was dark, it could've easily happened to anyone Newbie..it was just an..unfortunate misunderstanding?" Perry ventured hoarsely, shaking his head.

J.D. finally turned to face him and clenched his jaw, looking ready to kill.

"'An..unfortunate...misunderstanding??'" he spat, disgusted "THAT'S what you're calling it?!"

He advanced on Perry, a furious gleam in his eyes, his black hair disheveled.  
Perry backed up cautiously, until his back grazed the wall. Perry just shrugged at him, sheepishly.

The look that crossed J.D.'s face next screamed "**bad move**".

"Stop _fucking_ patronizing me, alright! It's UNDERSTANDABLE, "**Perry**", if _I_ said it was a mistake, but, it's _fucking bullshit _when you say it, cause YOU sure as hell knew what you were doing." J.D. accused harshly, jabbing Perry in the chest with a finger. "I mean, since when do women have the same "unmentionables" as guys, huh?! huh?!" He poked him again, harder. "You're right "**Perry**", they don't. You understood what was going on the whole time, so don't you stand there, all self-righteously, having the audacity to tell me that this was a- a "**misunderstanding**". That I played a role in what happened..Because, I didn't. It wasn't my fault this happened, it was yours-I paged ELLIOT, not you Perry. Not. You." He poked him again spitefully, emphasizing each word.  
"I was the one who didn't mean for this to happen. You could've stopped at any time."

J.D. prepared to prod him again, but Perry caught him by his wrist

"Getoffame, you _jackass _" J.D. hissed bitterly, struggling to break free

"You're right" Perry relented, looking into J.D.'s eyes dully, dreading the inevitable

J.D. stopped struggling and looked up, baffled. "I am? I mean- hell yeah I am!" He regained his composure and tried to glare at Perry sternly, failing miserably "-wait, about what?"

Perry didn't even crack a smile at him. JD was really making this harder than it should have been. He choked back his mounting guilt with difficulty and continued.

"That's it's my fault. I don't have any right to put the blame on you for it. I DID understand what I was doing, and at the time, it- it seemed like I wasn't doing anything wrong, but now, I realize, that this changes a lot of things. And I..." his voice wavered "I don't think we should.._pursue _this...relationship" he paused, gritting his teeth "any further."  
He released J.D.'s arm abruptly, as if he'd been burned.

"Wait. What are you saying" J.D. asked him weakly, his voice cracking

"Dr. Cox..?" he tried again after he received no answer. The hostility was gone from his voice and replaced with gentle concern. He reached up to brush Perry's cheek, but his wrist was caught again mid-air and shoved away.

Perry avoided his eyes "I'm sorry Newb-Dr.Dorian, but..I'm doing-I'm doing what's best..for both of us..I'm switching you off my service..effective, immediately"  
He strode out of the room, ignoring the abandoned expression on J.D.'s face and the nauseated bile rising in his throat. As soon as he reached his Porsche, the impact of what had just occurred hit him full-force. His knees buckled and he crumpled to the pavement, burying his head in his hands.

"Fuck, fuck, **fuck**. What the HELL did I just do?" His mind flashed back to the look on J.D.'s face. The look that he had put there. His throat tightened and his eyes stung. "Goddamnit!!" A frustrated sob tore from his lips, falling on deaf ears. He slammed his fist into the ground furiously, numb to the shattered glass that sliced through his knuckles. Dr. Cox just sat there, broken, hollow, defeated; and wept.

**A/n: the word wept is so underused, haha, anyway hope you liked it, today's my birthday, :) so be nice. Yeah sorry about the overuse of dividers and...uhh, the..horrible..grammar too. I know this chapter's not the best, but I'm okay with it. I love it for its flaws. Or I'm just in a really good mood today and the chapter flat-out sucks. hm.. and i know you guys are all saying "but its labeled romance/humor! What happened to that!" err, about that..it'll happen...eventually. I just like my stories to have some emotional depth. And the only way I can do that is though angsty drama. Don't worry, it has.. a.. happy.. ending? eheheh... -ducks- and sorry i changed the first chapter's ending, it didn't fit. :(**


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